Monday, 22 June 2015

Confrontation

At what age does one starts to confront others? Can the first cry by a new born be classified as a confrontation? Can our genetics decide if we are more confrontational than others? There is mention of 'Prakruti'  in Ayurveda which explains how our physical and mental nature is designed by our genes. Blame it on my son's genetic codes that were derived from me. He is as heavily opinionated and confrontational as me!

All these questions arise in my mind when I , for the first time, felt that my only son has been 'confronting' me for some time. I wondered if it is even a good idea to use this as a blog topic especially when the aim of this blog is to write about the joys of life.

Joy can not be fully understood without the company of difficulties and challenges in life. So, I think 'confrontation' can be blogged here.

Mentally,  the 'teenage' begins even before the thirteen years of age. I recognise the change in emotions in my child when he throws 'temper tantrums' that are a result of confrontation with me. It is a big challenge to me as a mother as to deal with the ocean of emotions that my child is surfing.

Going back to knowing the duties of a mother, what is it that is my duty to my child? I questioned my self if there is anything I could 'teach' him to make him feel better. Well, there is no such thing as 'teaching' others. I have strong opinions that no one can 'teach' anything to anyone, so the word 'Teacher' is an unnecessary word in English. Instead, I believe in some one being a 'guide ' to others to help them learn for themselves.

I can 'guide' my son and show him a path which may lead him to his betterment, but I can in no way 'teach' him anything. Universe and human mind are one and the same with mysteries. I myself have not demystified anything leave alone 'teaching' somebody.

In olden days, 'Gurus' were a  much revered people. They were the humble guide to enlightenment. I believe in 'Gurus'. As a mother, I think it is my duty to talk to my son about a 'Guru' that can guide him through and hopefully my duty ends there or is it my Maya to imagine that I am duty bound? Hard to find the answers when I am confronting myself!


Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Infraordinary person

Yet another day when my optimism is thrown in the rubbish bin. A long awaited news turning unfavourable is just enough to hit my spirits low. Although my spirit is running out of fuel, something is telling me I should not regret anything as nothing is decided by me. The supernatural power wants me to know its presence and the events to follow.

How many times in my life have I felt like a puppet uncontrolled by the self? I am just tired to struggle with this life. It will be so much easy if I can find an end at the beginning. I don't see a point in this boring routine living as each day is much the same.

What ever is new and exciting at the start eventually turns to be a done and dusted thing. There is no more to explore unless I fight to see a tiny challenge and make it bigger. I feel that all the life events will eventually become insignificant that unless a huge amount of emotion is pumped in they would mean nothing to a person. That stage of numbness is achieved by everyone, so I am not an exclusion.

Today I learnt a lesson- the lesson being I am not special -just an ordinary or infra ordinary person. I learnt that it is not easy to be an infra ordinary person. The brain has to function in a certain fashion to become that person.

Does today's blog sound a bit petulant? I can be bit childish sometimes........